First of all, whether they read this blog or not, I want to wish the mothers who I’ve met on this journey so far a very Happy Mother’s Day. Really I send out this message to all the parents who are out there accepting and trying to make this world a better place for the LGBT kids. I’m truly in awe of some of the selfless and special people I’ve met over the past six months.
Over Shabbat my son made kiddush at one of the meals. I got choked up while he was reciting the brachot for several reasons. First of all, a few months ago, he wouldn’t have even wanted to make kiddush. I don’t think he has had this spiritual or religious transformation, but he isn’t quite as angry and distant from Judaism as he was a few months ago. I know there will be many “iterations” of his religious self, but it was nice to see that he was willing to take an active role in our family, this weekend.
Of course this led me to wonder what will happen in the future. It was actually the first time when I actively thought about the fact that he won’t be portrayed in the same “typical” family picture like ours, and my parents, in-laws, and so many relatives for generations. There won’t be a wife and there may or may not be children. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not lamenting this. I’m just stating these as facts of how things will be different for him.
And assuming he does have a partner and children- a hope that I strongly have for him, will he make kiddush? Will Judaism play a role in his life? Will he feel any connection on his own and more than that, if he even does feel a connection will he find a place where he feels comfortable? How different will that place be from the way he grew up?
I don’t have the answers to any of these questions but these are some of the things that weigh on my mind from time to time. Right now we are trying to get through the teenage years and come out of them relatively unscathed (does anyone actually come out of their teenage years unscathed though?). What will happen beyond these years is not even something I can imagine at this point.
What I do know is that today I realized that my son does appreciate me. It’s silly and stupid but he made it clear today on Mother’s Day that he knows I’m there for him. And as a parent of a teenage son, that means the world to me.